Tuesday . . . still no sleep. Today I have to bury my son’s body. The whole day seems surreal. It’s almost like some bad nightmare . . . but it’s really happening. How do I say goodbye forever to my son, my youngest child?
We get to the church early as we have one hour of visitation prior to the service. I walk in and see Alex layed out and walk up to him and put my letter under his hands. Adam asks me to do the same for him and I do.
Again, so many people, Alex was so loved and no one can believe what happened.
The girlfriend arrives with her mother and grandmother. She’s wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt saying something about her “Butthead” and Alex’s initials. Her mother is also in sweatpants and her grandmother is in leather pants. She asked if she could walk up with the procession of family and I told her it was fine. However, she must have chosen not to and went up into the church ahead of time.
It was now time for the service. The family looked one last time upon Alex’s face and went to get in line. I remained behind with my son. I just couldn’t let them close the lid without me or let him ride up the elevator to the main level alone. I needed to be with my baby to the end.
It was a beautiful service. Father Stan gave a wonderful sermon and after communion Adam read my letter to Alex and then gave an absolutely beautiful eulogy . . . there were very few dry eyes in the church.
When service was over we took Alex to his grave and said some prayers. I stayed to watch them lower the casket into the ground. I was not about to leave until everyone was out of the cemetery. I needed to be the last.
We got to the church basement for the meal and Alex’s mother barely got to sit down when the girlfriend and her family came over and asked for their flowers. Alex’s mother didn’t know which ones and said, “You need to show me which ones”. I sent Aaron to follow. The girlfriend also wanted to know where the one with the John Deere tractor was because it was meant for her - the card read “Girlfriend and Beissel Family”. There were so many flowers that I instructed the funeral home to bring only immediate family flowers and the girlfriend’s families as I suspected they would want them. The rest were to be delivered to the house after the funeral and I never told Alex’s mother this. Well, the girlfriend wanted to know where the plant was with the John Deere tractor and Alex’s mother didn’t know and told her this. The girlfriend told her to find out and let her know. Then as soon as they had their flowers they left.
I later found out from the funeral director that the girlfriend wanted him to open the locked card box and give her all the cards meant for her. He of course told her he couldn’t do that and that she would have to ask the family for them which he said upset her and her family. He told her it was strict guidelines that cards go to the family only.
There was plenty of food left over so I invited all of Alex’s mother’s family to the house for supper. I needed to hear some great stories of Alex. They all came and we ate and talked. Even I finally ate today . . . my baby was now laid to rest.
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