It's about 6:30 a.m. and I'm lying in bed just half asleep. I hear the doorbell and wake Jeff and say that someone is at the door. We start to get out of bed to put on some clothes and the bell rings again. I go to open the bedroom door and now someone is pounding on the door. I don't turn on any inside lights so I can see who's there before I open the front door. I turn on the outside lights and see two sheriff deputies standing outside. I open the door and one of the deputy's asks if I'm Kevin and I reply yes. They request if they can come in and ask me to sit down. Immediately my heart sinks - I know something is wrong.
Then I hear the words no parent ever wants to hear, "Is Alexander your son? He was found deceased in Woodbury." I'm in shock; I don't know how to respond. I ask, "What? How? Was it a car accident. Is his girlfriend OK?"
The deputy doesn't know any details. He was just dispatched to give me this devastating message. He gives me his card and a note card with a number to call . . . Ramsey County Coroners Office. He tells me he's deeply sorry for my loss and then both deputies leave.
I see Jeff from the corner of my eye but just say, "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" and cry. I now have to call Alex's mother and siblings to tell them the worst news possible.
I first call the coroner to find out how Alex died. The woman answered and gave me her condolences and tells me Alex died from what appears to be a single gunshot to the head. I'm in disbelief - a gunshot . . . what? . . . I can't believe what I'm hearing. She tells me due to the holiday it may take a few days before his body will be released. She then gave me a name and phone number for the police officer who was at the scene.
I call the officer and he tells me that it was a gunshot and it happened at the twin home that he was living at. I ask if his girlfriend was involved. He said she was the only one questioned and that there was no one in custody. And that's all that he can say right now. He tells me the girlfriends mother asked them to give me her phone number.
I call her and she tells me Alex shot himself . . . suicide. She's so sorry and feels terrible for her daughter because she found him. I then give the phone to Jeff . . . I cannot speak . . . I sob uncontrollably. I let Jeff finish the conversation.
I pull myself together and pick up the phone and call Alex's mother - I tell her to sit down, that I have some bad news. I then tell her right out because I don't know how else to say it . . . Alex is dead - then silence. I hear, "What? What happened?" I give her the information I've been told. I ask her to call her family and that I will call the children and tell them as well as my family. She says, OK . . . still stunned by my news. I tell her to drive up when she can and to drive safely. I then dial my daughter's number and repeat the news to her.
I call my eldest son; he's in Pennsylvania with his wife visiting for the holidays. I can't get through and leave a message on his voicemail to call me as soon as he gets this message---it's an emergency.
Instead of calling my younger son I decide to go tell him in person since he lives only a mile away. He works the night shift so he would just be getting home. It's probably now around 7:15/7:30 a.m. Jeff drives me. We get there and my son is not home yet. I call him to see where he is. He tells me he's working overtime and won't be off until 10:00 a.m. I ask to talk to his manager. He's not there. I ask my son to see if he can come home now - there's an emergency and that I'll talk to him when he gets home. He gets approval and hangs up. Since he won't be home for about 40 minutes I ask Jeff to take me to my parents' house - I need to tell them in person.
We get there and I ask them both to sit down and then, sobbing, I tell them Alex has died. I tell them what I know. I can't stop crying - my youngest child has died. My mother is crying but trying to contain herself and my father just looks stunned. He doesn't say anything. My mother says she'll call the family and let them know and I thank her because I just can't do it.
Jeff and I then leave to go back to my son's house. We pull in and wait for him to arrive. When he gets there we go into the house and I tell him Alex has died . . . he starts to cry and says he knew something was up because he had gotten a couple of text messages from his cousin and a friend asking if it was true about his brother and how sorry they were.
I'm now reeling - where did they get this news from? Hardly anyone has been told. I find out later that my now deceased son's girlfriend had it posted on Facebook around 7:00 a.m. - before I even got to tell my own immediate family.
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